Monday, January 27, 2014

DATING UP: 7 Things Older Men Do on Dates (That Young Guys Don't)

[Re-post from a previous story]


This past weekend was a dating whirlwind.  All activities considered, I went on five dates in three days.  (However, two of these dates were with guys my age own age, so I guess technically they don’t really count.)  My goal this weekend was to experience what it’s like dating older men, so I went out with a 40-somthing, a 50-something, and last but not least, a sexagenarian (60-year-old). All three dates went well, so well, in fact, that by the end of the weekend I had received an invitation from all three gentlemen for a second date (one guy even asked me to an event the same weekend). 

But what I discovered through my "senior" social experiment, were some strong commonalities in dating “up” versus dating within my usual age range.  Perhaps going out with my 30-something guy friends this weekend was a blessing in disguise for the sake of contrast.  Let’s call my younger dates the “control group,” and ages 40, 50, and 60 will be the X, Y, and Z variables in my deviant little dating experiment…  



7 Things Older Guys Do on Dates that Young Guys Don’t:

1)  They Talk About KIDS (whether they have any and whether they want more). 

If they have children already, they let you know right away.  They are also clear about letting a younger woman know they are open to having (more) children if  they meet the right woman.  

2)  They Talk About MARRIAGE (whether they’ve been married before and if they want to tie the knot again in the future).

They make it clear to a young woman they are ready and willing to commit to the right one and are looking for a serious relationship that could potentially lead to marriage. 

3)  They Talk About SEX (they let you know they’re still having it).

Now this was the one that surprised me the most.  If guys my age mention sex on the first date, it will probably also be their last.  However, with older guys, I felt like they needed to bring up the topic to let a younger woman know they're still in the game, and  to let her know they're interested in more than just "networking" or a professional/business relationship.

4)  They talk About HEALTH (they let you know they can keep up with you). 

All of my older subjects detailed their weekly workout routines for me.  I’m guessing this might also have something to do with point #3 above and the obvious link between health and virility.     

5)  They Talk About MONEY (they let you know they have it and want to spend it--on you!).

This one surprised me a little, too.  Each of the older men I dated made it clear they were well off.  (As if I didn’t already know.)  And though they all had fab digs in the most happening parts of town, they made it clear they would leave their bustling bachelor pads in lieu of a larger, quieter home when they met the right lady.  They also inferred, rather delicately, they would be more than happy to spend their hard-earned cash on any special lady in their life.  (One even went so far as to tell me he would very much like me to call him and ask him out on dates--for which he would be more than happy to pay!  Seriously?!)

6)  They Talk About POLITICS (they have opinions…strong opinions). 

Forget the rules about not mentioning politics or religion at the table.  With older men, all bets are off, but as a Master of International Relations, I actually appreciated the banter (not to say I agreed with everything they said).  For the first time in ages, I was able to debate politics and current events with formidable counterparts with well-honed perspectives, which is quite a contrast from dating in my own age range where opinions are much less deep-seated and certainly less developed.

7)  They Talk About RELIGION (they let you know their preferences--no holds barred).

Decisiveness is one of the best attributes of older men.  Sure, they may be set in their ways, but at least they have set ways!  When it comes to religion, most younger men are still floundering because faith isn't something they tend to take seriously (at least not yet).  Older guys have set opinions and preferences when it comes to religion, and so do I, so I can appreciate that.  No wishy-washy “spirituality” or religious beliefs that will supposedly materialize when a man starts to raise a family.  When it comes to religion, older guys shoot from the hip (albeit a reconstructed one).

All in all, older guys know what they want and they’re willing to do what it takes to get it.  I like that.  I’ll let you know if any of them make it to Round Two!  ;)